


Please, Let Me Hold You

by Kytanna



Series: Ineffable Husbands Bingo [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Cuddling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Nightmares, Singing, lots of kisses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-29 04:35:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19822645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kytanna/pseuds/Kytanna
Summary: Crowley's singing was something that by now was a treat Aziraphale had gotten used to get almost on a daily basis, it also helped that Crowley seemed unable to stop himself from doing it.It was part of him, of who he was and who he is now. It was a form of expression and it helped Crowley when words failed him.It had gotten him through happy and hard times and this time it was no different.For the prompt "cuddles" of my Ineffable Husbands Bingo Card





	Please, Let Me Hold You

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first good omens fic so please be nice.  
> This is my fill for the prompt "cuddles" of my Ineffable Husbands Bingo Card.
> 
> I highly recommend listening to Hallelujah (the version by Pentatonix) while reading this fic.

Aziraphale woke up with a groan, blindly searching with his hand for another body that wasn’t there. He lazily opened one eye and couldn’t help the frown and small pout that overtook his mouth. 

Crowley’s side of the bed was empty and cold.

Aziraphale sighed, he had been expecting to have a bit of a lie-in with his husband. 

Over the years they had been married and those before, when they had finally admitted their feelings for each other Aziraphale had learned to love the peacefulness that sleeping brought him. Before living with Crowley, Aziraphale had perhaps slept a total of ten times in all those six thousand years they had been on Earth. He had thought it to be a very boring thing to do and a waste of time, it didn’t help that falling asleep took him—in those times—almost five hours. 

Now sleeping cuddled with Crowley was something he did every night. He enjoyed the warmness, the tenderness and the love he felt surrounding him when they slept together—all of it oozing from Crowley.

He had come love it so much that there had been one time, exactly after consummating their marriage, that they had ended up sleeping for a whole week—not the longest Crowley had been asleep—but it had come as a surprise to Aziraphale who had never been able to quite understand what Crowley had meant all those times when he had said that he hadn’t been meaning to sleep for that long, that it just ‘had happened’.

Now, with a stretch and a big yawn Aziraphale got up in search of his demonic husband, the remains of sleep still clinging tightly to his muddled brain. 

It was perhaps the reason why he hadn’t noticed the singing or the humming until he arrived at the kitchen, the smell of pancakes, tea and coffee, luring him.

Aziraphale padded all the way to the entrance, bare feet and completely naked with the exception of the oversized t-shirt Crowley liked to wear to sleep. But as soon as he heard him Aziraphale stopped on his tracks and all sleepiness he might have felt left him in less than a second. 

  
  


_ Well your faith was strong but you needed proof _

_ You saw her bathing on the roof _

_ Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya _

_ She tied you to her kitchen chair _

_ And she broke your throne and she cut your hair _

_ And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah _

_ Hallelujah _

_ Hallelujah _

_ Hallelujah _

_ Hallelujah _

  
  


Despite the fact that Crowley had been singing and humming so softly Aziraphale felt his beautiful voice resonate through his very soul. 

Crowley only ever sang that song when he had had a nightmare about when he fell. Aziraphale had only had a nightmare once and it had been enough to stop him from sleeping for a whole week, he had gained a new respect for the humans that night. 

He had asked Crowley once why he kept on sleeping knowing that he might have nightmares. Crowley’s response had left Aziraphale speechless. 

_ “Do you stop eating just because there is the possibility of getting food poisoning?” _

_ “Well, no but-” _

_ “Do you decide to not walk anymore because you might fall?” Crowley had interrupted him. _

_ “I-” Aziraphale had closed his mouth, not sure what to say to that. _

_ “My point is that just because something bad might happen you can’t let that stop you from living and enjoying life.” Crowley had smiled at him and given his hand a squeeze. “Dove, you can’t let fear rule your life. You gotta squeeze down that fucker until it’s nothing but dust. Besides, nightmares keep me grounded.” _

_ “How so?” Had asked Aziraphale, confused, he had only felt terrified and shaken for days. _

_ “They help me find my way. They help me remember from where I came and where I’m going.” Had answered Crowley with a peaceful smile, bright yellow eyes shining in the dimmed light.  _

That conversation had only been farther proof of what Aziraphale had been convinced since the moment he had met Crowley. The demon was one of the braver beings Aziraphale had met, and to tell the truth, Aziraphale couldn’t help but feel stronger just by standing by his side. It also made him realize he might never be able to grasp how much Crowley had suffered, the only thing he could now was to make sure he didn’t have to suffer like that ever again.

  
  


Aziraphale leaned on against the door frame, watching him make the pancakes methodically but he didn’t miss the way his hands shook a little bit. He was bare-chested, wearing only a pair of thin sleeping pants, his scarred back in full view. 

Aziraphale inhaled deeply and opened his mouth, the next verse flowing from his mouth.

  
  


_ But baby I've been here before _

_ I've seen this room and I've walked this floor _

_ You know, I used to live alone before I knew ya _

_ And I've seen your flag on the marble arch _

_ And love is not a victory march _

_ It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah _

  
  


Crowley turned sharply to look back at him, eyes slightly misty, red and wide open, he had clearly not heard Aziraphale enter the kitchen.

  
  


_ Hallelujah _

_ Hallelujah _

_ Hallelujah _

_ Hallelujah _

  
  


Aziraphale kept singing, this time louder. His voice might not be as lovely as Crowley’s but it still sounded pleasant to the ears.

He approached Crowley from behind, letting him sing the next verse on his own, and circled his waist with his arms, forehead pressed to his wide back. 

_ Maybe there's a God above _

_ But all I've ever learned from love _

_ Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya _

Aziraphale pressed his lips in every scar he could reach, kissing over the raised burned skin, over all the pain Crowley had to endure; hoping that maybe, just maybe, this could make it all better.

Crowley turned off the stove, he made the plate on pancakes teleport to the table with a snap of his fingers and turned around, engulfing Aziraphale in his arms and burying his face into the angel’s neck.

  
  


_ And it's not a cry that you hear at night _

_ It's not somebody who's seen the light _

_ It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah _

  
  


Aziraphale sang with Crowley as he felt his neck get wet and Crowley’s voice wavered. The angel brushed and kissed his red hair slowly directing Crowley until he could sit in a chair. Crowley let go of him as Aziraphale stood between his open legs, softly brushing the tears from his face and kissing his forehead.

Aziraphale then sat on Crowley’s lap, leaning on his head against Crowley’s as he felt Crowley hug his waist and press him closer to himself. Aziraphale put his hand on top of Crowley’s arms and rubbed circles on them. 

_ Hallelujah _

_ Hallelujah _

_ Hallelujah _

_ Hallelujah _

_ Hallelujah _

_ Hallelujah _

_ Hallelujah _

_ Hallelujah _

_ Hallelujah _

_ Hallelujah _

_ Hallelujah _

_ Hallelujah _

_ Hallelujah _

They watched from the window the dawn, singing the last verses and feeling the first light of the day in their skin.

They stayed like that for a long time, well into the morning, their breakfast cold and forgotten and slowly—as the minutes passed—Aziraphale felt Crowley relax and calm down.

He felt Crowley’s nose nudge him in the cheek and when Aziraphale slowly turned to meet his eyes, now light and full of life and all the grief and sorrow almost gone from them, Crowley captured his upper lip between his own in a soft kiss, so full of love and reverence that Aziraphale almost wept.

“I love you.” Whispered Crowley, against his lips. “More than anything.”

Aziraphale cupped his cheeks with his hands and draw him into a kiss. He peppered kisses in his thin lips, in his pointy and curved nose, in his cheeks, in his eyelids, in his forehead. Everywhere that he could reach, Aziraphale kissed, trying to express his love in a way that words couldn’t, in a tangible way that Crowley could feel and that Aziraphale hoped would fill him with at least an ounce of the happiness he gave Aziraphale.

“I know.” Aziraphale brushes his nose against Crowley’s, closing his eyes. “I feel it in the air. I feel it in your hugs, in the way you spoil me." He let out a wet laugh. "I feel it in the way you dance with me and sing to me when I can’t sleep. I feel it every second you are with me and even more when you are not, and I- I love you just as much.” Confessed Aziraphale in a whisper, his voice wavering slightly.

Aziraphale’s soft smile only grew when he saw Crowley do the same, nowadays Crowley smiled freely and often, but it still made Aziraphale’s heart skip a beat, it was so beautiful, just like it’s owner.

Crowley snapped his fingers again, their food warm again and brought the plate of pancakes closer to them. He broke a little piece with his fingers and drew it to Aziraphale's lips. He dutifully opened his mouth, receiving the food. 

Both of them enjoyed it immensely when Crowley fed him, it was calming and soft and such a selfless act Aziraphale felt like he was hopping on clouds afterwards.

He fed Aziraphale until he was full and then they drank their coffee and tea.

Crowley sighed, his thumb brushing Aziraphale’s naked thigh. “Let’s go back to bed.”

Aziraphale turned to meet his eyes, a question clear in his face, despite sleeping every night despite the occasional nightmares that plagued Crowley, he almost never went back to bed after one, preferring to go out or spend time with his plats or in their couch hugging Aziraphale.

“I want to make love to you. Would you let me?” Asked softly Crowley, his lips brushing the shell of his ear.

Oh.

Aziraphale let out a sound that was half a moan and half a giggle, it sounded very strange and he blushed at having been the one who had uttered it. He met Cowley’s eyes and both of them erupted in laughter. 

He pecked Crowley on the lips. “Anything you want, dear. I must confess I’m feeling quite in the mood as well.”

Aziraphale got up, all of a sudden, startling Crowley. He padded towards their bedroom and threw the demon a cheeky wink as he took off his t-shirt, disappearing from the kitchen and giggling as he heard Crowley’s accelerated footsteps following him.

He threw himself on top of the unmade bed and drew Crowley into a kiss when he climbed on top of him. 

Yes, everything would be alright, no matter how many times Crowley got nightmares Aziraphale would always be there for him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank for reading and I hope you liked the story, feel free to ask anything, comments and kudos are highly appreciated. <3


End file.
